All Good Things Must Come to an End

Today is my last day of maternity leave. Man, in some ways these past 12 weeks have just flown by! I completely understand now why people say "the days are long but the years are short," as that has definitely been my experience with parenting to date. As much as I've loved staying home to recover from childbirth and to get Rose started on a good footing in life, I'm also really looking forward to going back to work. I miss the adult interactions, the sense of mastery I had from doing my job well, and (to be perfectly frank) earning a paycheck. I also really hate that recently I've been looking forward to Mike getting home from work, just so I could have a little break - I'd MUCH rather be counting down the hours because I'm eager to see my daughter again!

I'm sure it will be a tough transition, but I'm ready to tackle this next hurdle. However, I'm also thankful that Rose and I have a bit of a transition time. First off, my mom will be watching Rose next week. This is great because Rose and I will each get some time apart, but she will still be getting one-on-one care for another week before she starts daycare. Second, my schedule looks pretty light next week. Granted, I have a to-do list a mile long of administrative tasks I need to take care of, but at least I can ease my way back in with patients and can flex my hours just a bit if I need to (i.e., I can leave early on my first day back, if I'm crying too hard to put in a full day!). Finally, we had a "trial run" of daycare on Wednesday, to formally introduce us both to the classroom. I didn't realize that this was an option until about a week ago, so I'm glad we were able to squeeze this in.

Our plan is that I'll start work at 7am each day, so Mike will walk Rose (and his bike) over to daycare each morning around 8am or so, then he'll bike to school from there. (The daycare is only about 1/2 to 3/4 of a mile away, so it's nice and conveniently located.) Then I'll pick Rose up after I get off work around 3:30 or so, and Mike will work a couple hours longer. So we'll each get some solo time with Rose (him in the morning and me in the afternoon) and we'll get some together time after dinner.

So for our trial run last Wednesday, we all walked over there together. We had a brief orientation with the lead teacher of her classroom, got another tour, and then it was time for us to leave. I felt totally comfortable with the teachers, but I still started crying as soon as we walked out the door. All of the sudden she just seemed so little! And what if the teachers forgot about her penguin, or didn't know that she likes to be held on her side to be comforted, or [insert a million other crazy fears here]. Suddenly I realized how well I've gotten to know her in the past several weeks, and I realized that her teachers might also have a learning curve with her!

But my biggest fear of all, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, was that I wouldn't recognize Rose when I went to pick her up a few hours later. How awful would it be to look around a room of 10 or 12 infants and have no idea which one was mine?!?!

After Mike and I got home, we took off in the car so I could drop him off at work/school. Then I returned home again to eat lunch and to pump. And then I didn't know what to do with myself! Wow. When did I forget how to relax and do adult things???  I very nearly started doing some laundry, but my friend Margaret quickly cured me of that idea! So I went shopping instead. :) Thanks to a sale at Kohl's (that's a joke because there's always a sale at Kohl's), I came out with two new pairs of capris, two t-shirts, and a nice long-sleeve linen cover-up type shirt. Oh, and an empty "Steph account" as well. :)

And then my time was up! Mike made me promise that I wouldn't pick Rose up before three hours elapsed (her teacher said that 3 hours was a good amount of time for the trial, but I could come earlier or later if I wanted), so I pulled up after 3 hours and 5 minutes had elapsed. I was so nervous opening the door to the classroom, but I immediately zoned in on Rose without any hesitation... she was the one crying! :(

Immediately I wanted to cry myself. Had she been in tears the entire time? Did she hate the place? What happened?!?

The teacher explained that she had just turned Rose over from her belly to her back under the activity gym, and immediately I felt better. Why, you ask? Because Rose cries whenever I do that too! Whew! Just her normal "I don't want to turn over" tears.   The teachers told told me that was the first time she had cried all day, and that she had seemed to enjoy all the new (to her) toys and meeting all the teachers and other babies. She drank 2 bottles (!) while I was gone, and took two 20-minute naps.

All in all, I think she did just great! In fact, it sounded like she cried less than I did. :) When we got home she was so tired (she normally sleeps for 60-90 minutes per nap) that she slept for 4 hours straight and then just went to bed for the night. I'm going to interpret that to mean that she enjoyed it so much that she didn't want to sleep and miss out on anything!

So there it is. Rose and I are ready for this big transition to work/daycare. But this morning we took one more walk together - our last weekday morning walk together for probably quite some time, now that I'm out of vacation days for the rest of the year! We walked along Minnehaha Creek - the last of the major paths in Minneapolis that I was trying to visit during my leave! (The Creek, the River Roads, the Chain of Lakes - except for Calhoun since I don't like that lake, Hyland Park, Como Park/Zoo, Baker Park Reserve, Centennial Lakes, and the St. Anthony Heritage Trail.)

(look at those feet kicking!)

Hope you all have a great weekend!