Four weeks!

Rose turned four weeks old yesterday!

Right now she likes:
+ "more milk!"
+ sleeping with her arms up above her head, or being tightly swaddled
+ fresh air and going for long walks
+ bath time
+ arching her back for big stretches

And she does not like:
- transitioning from "sleep" to "wake"
- having to "toot"
- hiccups

Mike and I are excited that she is starting to like to sleep longer at night - she usually has one four-hour stretch between feedings each night now!!!!  :)


I couldn't pick a favorite of her 4-week "portraits" so here are a few good ones. Consider it a bonus since this blog post is one day late!

things are looking up

Last week was pretty rough, what with the sleep deprivation and the feline redirected aggression and breastfeeding pain and all. But now things are definitely looking up!

First, Mac's eye seems to be healed. (Yay!)  Second, Rose has been sleeping for at least one 4-hour stretch each night. (Hallelujah!!) Third, we've been able to nurse full-time without pain for the last couple days!  Now that I'm not so tied to the pump, this has given me the courage to venture out with Rose a lot more - getting regular fresh air has been so helpful!  And, finally, we got Lucy started on some Kitty Prozac (which we had been hesitant to do for sooo long), but it seems to be a wonder drug! She is much more calm, but not all doped up. Better yet, we've already been able to start reintroducing the cats already! The last times they fought, it has always taken WEEKS to reintroduce them. But Lucy is so calm now that she's already starting to feel comfortable again around Mac - in fact, they're both sleeping on the couch right now! (Opposite ends of the couch, but still!) What a relief.

In other news, Mike and I had our first "date night" last night. I was anxious leading up to it, but it ended up being GREAT. We went to see our favorite pianist, Yevgeny Sudbin, perform a Mozart concerto with the MN Orchestra, then stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home. (We actually left at intermission since we both hate Sibelius so much, and that was all that was on the second half of the program. We wanted to leave on a high note, and we knew Sibelius couldn't top Sudbin and Mozart!) I had expected a lot of tears from anxiety and guilt about leaving Rose so soon, but actually my only tears were when I realized that it felt great to be away for a bit and then I felt guilty about not feeling more guilty. (Argh! I can't win!)

So a great big thanks to Grandma Roles and Grandpa Fly for watching Rose so we could go out! Since it went well, we'll definitely plan another night out at some point in the future, so we will be taking someone else up on their babysitting offer. (Grammy, you're next on the list to be asked! Then Marcy!)

I'm so glad things are looking up all around. And to end this post on another high note, here's a photo of Rose's 6am "milk coma" yesterday morning:

P.S.

My friend Ryan said I shouldn't post anything without photos, so here are a couple pictures from Rose's bath last week (to make up for my "two steps forward" post with no photos).  :)

two steps forward...

The last couple days have definitely been an example of two steps forward, one step back...then two steps forward again...

Tuesday started off really well:
1. We arrived on time (and clean!) to our six-week "New Mama" class.
2. The class went really well and I'm looking forward to next week.
3. My mom came to town and we had a lovely walk around the neighborhood.
4. We ordered Pizza Luce for dinner.
5. I breastfed all day, with only one "break" for pumping.
6. Rose seemed to be winding down for a long night's sleep.

Then:
1. The breastfeeding pain came back with a vengeance at 8pm! Immediately, thoughts of failure as a mother started running through my head (yes, "catastrophizing" is my favorite cognitive distortion).
2. She then woke to feed every 2 hours - meaning that she was up to eat for 30 minutes, then asleep for only 90 - which meant that I slept far less because I would lay there trying to fall asleep, but feeling super anxious because I knew the monitor could go off at any minute.
3. At 5am (right after falling asleep following Rose's 4am feeding) the cats had another bout of feline redirected aggression. Pretty much the last thing ever that we wanted to deal with, especially now that the "quiet room" we used to separate the cats in the past is now Rose's room! Argh.
4. Mac's eye was all red and swollen, and we couldn't tell if it had been injured by Lucy or whether his feline herpesvirus was acting up again.
5. We separated Lucy into the basement bathroom, but she has been howling herself hoarse all day.
6. The basement reeks of cat urine from where they had their fight.

Oy vey.

Luckily I had saved one last gift (my "New Mama Survival Kit" which was earmarked for a day at home when I needed some TLC for myself), so I opened that and found all my favorite snacks and a very encouraging card in there. (Thank you, Megan!!!) And luckily my mom came back later in the morning (she had spent the night at her cousin Janet's). And luckily Mike's advisor let him work from home on Wednesday.

Eventually I got 2 long naps in, got a fair amount of rest knowing that Rose had two competent people to look after her (even if I was so sleep-deprived as to be completely incompetent myself), and I got a lot of encouragement (and cognitive restructuring) from my favorite therapist mother.

Better yet, Rose ate at 6:45pm last night, then we both went to sleep until she woke to eat at 10pm. Then my little rock star slept straight through until 2:30am, and again until 6am!!!! It was my best night of sleep in weeks. Yay, Rose!!

So we have a happy baby and a well-rested mommy. Now here's hoping for progress with the cats...

Mother's Day!

It was my first Mother's Day as an actual mother, and I had such a fabulous day! Thanks to Rose and Mike, and to everyone who sent cards :)

We started off with some snuggle time after her 5:45am feeding:

Then we took her "official" three-week-old photos:

Mike let me take a long, relaxing shower, then we headed out for a hike at Fort Snelling State Park:

We breastfed - in public! I think this was a huge step for me to get over my fear of leaving the house with her :)

Then we got lunch (turkey sandwich and Diet Coke - surprise, surprise) and picked up some food from the grocery store for dinner. Mike let me take a two hour (!) nap, then Rose and I had some quality time together while he cooked.

 

We ate some wonderful beer can chicken, double-baked potatoes, spring green salad, and Java Chip ice cream.  Now Mike is in bed while I wait up for her 10:30pm feeding...

Thanks, Mike and Rose, for the lovely day!!

Good times

Lest you all get the wrong idea that we're all heartache in the land of breastfeeding woes, I thought I'd share some happier news from the Burcusa household.

Mike is loving his time with Rose:

She and I get plenty of snuggle time:

And now that things are looking up on the feeding front (we had four relatively pain-free feeding sessions today!), we've even ventured out for a few walks together!

Oh, and she still strikes the cutest poses when she sleeps.   :)

 

In other news, Mike and I had a delicious dinner tonight (spaghetti and homemade meatballs - thanks, Mom and Dad!) and I had my first glass of wine since last July. And it wasn't just any wine: it was the wine I gave Mike for our 1st anniversary that he then earmarked for our 8th anniversary. Well, we weren't able to drink it on our anniversary last August, but it was still pretty special to have a glass of it tonight!

First-Time Parents Overspend on Baby

So apparently first-time parents tend to overspend on baby? (see article below)  Who woulda thought.   :)

Actually, I think Mike and I have done a good job of not being completely outlandish. We did totally splurge on our stroller, but so far I don't regret a penny we spent on that (it's so smooth on walks, super versatile with all the attachments, and she sleeps in the bassinet attachment most of the time).  Here's a quick overview of our most and least favorite items so far, in our whopping 2.5 weeks of experience as parents:

Two thumbs up: 
Aden and Anais muslin blankets -  Thank you to my friend Megan for introducing these to us! This has become our go-to for daytime swaddling. They also work great as warm weather blankets, sun shields, etc. I'm glad we picked up a couple extra, in addition to the one Megan gave us.
Flannel receiving blankets - We got about a million of these as gifts and we wondered what we would possibly do with all of them. Well, guess what we run out of almost every day? They are great for burp clothes, drying off after a bath, laying on the changing table, etc.
Medela breast pump - Couldn't live without it, given everything we've been through with breastfeeding. Thank you, BCBS, for covering this under my insurance plan.
California Baby diaper cream - The hospital gave us A+D ointment to use, but she started developing an even worse rash from it. So we switched to CA Baby after we got home (since it's cloth diaper friendly, unlike the A+D, and it's made of much nicer ingredients) and her rash cleared up in just a couple days. I'm a huge fan!
Angel Baby Nipple Cream - I'm going through this container like it's going out of style, but it's been great at keeping my nipples from getting cracked (which is the one thing I've got going for me in this whole breastfeeding fiasco!).
Nursing tanks - I bought a couple of these before Rose was born (Glamourmom, Bravado, and Target brand), and my friend Margaret also sent me a few. They are wonderful! I've been living in them, day and night! When I have to wear a bra I really like the Bravado bras I bought, but for now I'm loving the tank option instead.
Itzbeen - Okay, I'll admit that I thought this would fall in the "worst of" category, but it's been completely indispensable for the past two weeks. All it is is a little timer that can count different things, and it has the option of sounding an alarm when a certain time is reached. So for the past two weeks we've used it to monitor time since (1) the last diaper change, (2) the last feeding session, (3) I last started pumping, and (4) I last took my ibuprofen. Now that we no longer have to wake Rose every 3 hours to eat (and now that we're both just ever-so-slightly more rested ourselves) it's not so essential anymore. But it was crucial those first few days!
Halo Sleep Sacks -  We got a few of these from my friend Ryan and they are amazing! It's so easy to swaddle Rose, and I don't worry about her kicking the blanket loose and suffocating overnight. We bought a few more so we'd always have a clean one on hand.

Two thumbs down:
Bottles - We heard that some babies will only take certain bottles, so we got a few sets of the popular brands (Dr. Brown's, Avent, etc.) at $20 a pop. Well, with all our breastfeeding woes we got strict instructions from our lactation consultant to only use Medela Calma bottles. Oh well.
Pacifiers - Similarly, we also heard that some babies only like certain pacifiers, so we registered for a few different kinds. But the one kind we somehow did not register for was the Soothies pacifiers, which turned out to be the only ones she likes (as least for now). Oops.
Angel Baby Bottom Balm - As much as I love their nipple cream, this butt balm didn't do much good. (We tried it after the A+D but before we got the CA Baby.) At least it was only a couple dollars from Amazon.

Our other splurges have all been penguin-related: Rose has a ton of stuffed penguins, and even has a penguin pacifier. So I guess those weren't really "necessary." But I'd say we've done pretty well overall so far!

(P.S. If you gave us something that's not on this list, that doesn't mean we don't love it or that we don't use it! These are just some items off the top of my head.)

May 3, 2012, 1:14 am

Why First-Time Parents Overspend on Baby

By KJ DELL'ANTONIA

 

The Origami stroller: $849.99 worth of unnecessary awesomeness.

“What’s the silliest thing you bought for your first baby?”

I asked that on my Facebook page back in January, and did I get answers — Moses basket! Bottles shaped like breasts! Wipe warmer! Grocery cart protective cover, baby jeans, baby bathtub… There was disagreement. Some people loved their Diaper Genies, some loathed them; ditto the sling and the swing.

But there was no disagreement over the premise: first-time parents spend more on first babies, and not just because we don’t already own the basics. It’s not that we’re buying our first car seat, but that we think we’re really going to need the accompanying detachable toy arc and mirror. We spend more because we think we need more. “First-time parents,” the pediatrician Jennifer Trachtenberg, author of “The Smart Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Kids Through Checkups, Illnesses and Accidents,” told me when I called, “believe that the more they buy, the easier it will be.”

The parents of Dr. Trachtenberg’s patients tell her they’re worried about getting things right. They want to be good parents, and good parents have the things their babies need — whatever those things are. The more stressed a new parent is about a particular aspect of their baby’s life, Dr. Trachtenberg says, the more likely he or she is to spend on it. “When a new mother can’t nurse, for example, she wants the best formula money can buy — and that’s a big misconception. Nutritionally, they’re all made to the same standard. Price has nothing to do with quality.” Expensive clothes? Luxury soaps? “Not,” Dr. Trachtenberg reminds parents, “going to make anyone a better mom.”

I thought of my conversation with Dr. Trachtenberg earlier this month, when I came across an ad for an organic stroller cleaning kit. She described the bottle sterilizer as one of the least useful things a new parent could buy, but with the discovery of this kit (which comes with a “reclaimed microfiber cloth” and a scrub brush, and which was available in the “gifting suite” at the 2012 Golden Globes) I think we’ve taken the word “unnecessary” to a different level.

What was the silliest thing you bought for your first baby? And what do you really need?