Friday, March 30, 2012

naming remorse (and some updates)

Apparently baby naming remorse is becoming more and more common. My favorite blog, The Baby Name Wizard, just had a two-part series on this. Here's the part of the blog article that I found most fascinating:

Historically, names in the English-speaking world were a relatively constrained set, with a small collection of classic names dominating. In England in 1800, the top three names for boys and girls accounted for more than half of all babies born . . . By 1950 in the United States, you needed 79 names (through Gregory for boys, Paula for girls) to get the same population coverage that those six names achieved in England in 1800. Today, it would take 546 different names, including names like Raegan, Yaretzi, Jace and Heaven.

I hear so many people (Mike and I included) who don't want to choose a top-10 baby name - or even a top-100 baby name - for fear that it will be "too common." (We all have memories of being in elementary school with Jennifer R, Jennifer S, Jennifer M, and Jennifer T, right?) But the top names - however you define that - really don't account for that large of a percentage of all babies at this point. So there's a chance that our baby will have to be "Baby B" in elementary school, but that's much (much!) less likely than it would have been even a generation or two ago.



And in other news....
We had our 36-week appointment today. I'll find out next week (we're on to weekly appointments now!) whether I tested positive for Group B Strep, which would mean that I need antibiotics during labor (this happens for about 30% of pregnant women, and totally isn't a big deal as long as you get the antibiotics - otherwise it can be very, very bad for Baby). That was the first "exciting" thing about this week's exam. The second "exciting" thing about this week's exam was that I had my first internal exam...and hopefully my last. Holy cow it hurt - it felt like she was trying to take the internal route to massaging my lungs. Ow!!! It was interesting to hear that I'm "fingertip dilated" (i.e., less than 1 cm) and 50% effaced...

...and that Baby is at a +2 or +3 station (I don't know if I'm using that lingo correctly. Also, I think I'm confused about the stations, because I thought she said that a +2 meant that she hadn't dropped down yet, but this image from a random website shows that the positive stations are further descended. I don't know.)
HOWEVER, a big caveat to all this is that it tells us absolutely nothing about when I might go into labor - it could be tomorrow, or it could be at 42 weeks. So now I'm seriously thinking about skipping the next couple internal exams to (a) avoid the pain and (b) prevent myself from worrying about what it all means, because apparently it means nothing. Baby will make her appearance whenever she's ready, regardless of her current station and my current dilation and effacement. I hear that patience is a virtue toward the end of pregnancy.


And, in completely different news, Mike and I went to the Orchestra tonight and heard the world premiere of a brand new classical piece that was microcommissioned especially for the MN Orch. It was so fun! And tomorrow night we're looking forward to attending a Roller Derby. (Yes, we apparently have very eclectic tastes!!) My only other goals for the weekend are (1) to get some rest!!!, (2) to pack my hospital bag!!, and (3) to catch up on the work that I've been too tired to do for the last two days because I haven't been sleeping well and I'm super exhausted all the time. It's supposed to be beautiful (70s and sunny!) here this weekend, so hopefully I can get out and enjoy the weather too. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

more due date statistics

Here's another website with due date statistics:  http://spacefem.com/pregnant/charts/duedate3.php

Summary:
Excluding inductions, here are the percentages for each week:
  • Percentage of babies born at 35 weeks: 1.2%
  • Percentage of babies born at 36 weeks: 3.3% (4.5% to date)
  • Percentage of babies born at 37 weeks: 7.1% (11.6%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 38 weeks: 13% (24.6%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 39 weeks: 26.8% (51.4%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 40 weeks: 30.6% (81.4%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 41 weeks: 15.6% (97.0%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 42 weeks: 2.3% (99.3%)
  • Percentage of babies born at 43 weeks: 0.2% (99.5%)
These percentages are based on the 1301 babies born spontaneously, excluding the 424 babies who were induced. As with the graph, "at 40 weeks" means babies born on 40 weeks, 0 days through 40 weeks, 6 days.

The Most Scientific Birth is Often the Least Technological Birth

Great article. We'll see how it goes for us!



If you look at scientific literature, you find over and over again that many interventions increase risk to mother and child instead of decreasing it.

Kenishirotie/Shutterstock
When I ask my medical students to describe their image of a woman who elects to birth with a midwife rather than with an obstetrician, they generally describe a woman who wears long cotton skirts, braids her hair, eats only organic vegan food, does yoga, and maybe drives a VW microbus. What they don't envision is the omnivorous, pants-wearing science geek standing before them.
Indeed, they become downright confused when I go on to explain that there was really only one reason why my mate -- an academic internist -- and I decided to ditch our obstetrician and move to a midwife: Our midwife could be trusted to be scientific, whereas our obstetrician could not.
Many medical students, like most American patients, confuse science and technology. They think that what it means to be a scientific doctor is to bring to bear the maximum amount of technology on any given patient. And this makes them dangerous. In fact, if you look at scientific studies of birth, you find over and over again that many technological interventions increase risk to the mother and child rather than decreasing it.
But most birthing women don't seem to know this, even if their obstetricians do. Paradoxically, these women seem to want the same thing I wanted: a safe outcome for mother and child. But no one seems to tell them what the data indicate is the best way to get there. The friend who dares to offer half a glass of wine is seen as guilty of reckless endangerment, whereas the obstetrician offering unnecessary and risky procedures is considered heroic.
Ethicists talk about birthing choices as if they are informed and autonomous, but I can't count how many women have said to me they "chose" pain meds during birth even though they were never told the risks.
When I was pregnant, in 2000, and my mate and I consulted the scientific medical literature to find out how to maximize safety for me and our child, here's what we learned from the studies available: I should walk a lot during my pregnancy, and also walk around during my labor; doing so would decrease labor time and pain. During pregnancy, I should get regular check-ups of my weight, urine, blood pressure, and belly growth, but should avoid vaginal exams. I should not bother with a prenatal sonogram if my pregnancy continued to be low-risk, because doing so would be extremely unlikely to improve my or my baby's health, and could well result in further tests that increased risk to us without benefit.
According to the best studies available, when it came time to birth at the end of my low-risk pregnancy, I should not have induction, nor an episiotomy, nor continuous monitoring of the baby's heartbeat during labor, nor pain medications, and definitely not a c-section. I should give birth in the squatting position, and I should have a doula -- a professional labor support person to talk to me throughout the birth. (Studies show that doulas are astonishingly effective at lowering risk, so good that one obstetrician has quipped that if doulas were a drug, it would be illegal not to give one to every pregnant woman.)
In other words, if the regular low-tech tests kept indicating I was having a medically uninteresting pregnancy, and if I wanted to scientifically maximize safety, I should give birth pretty much like my great-grandmothers would have: with the attention of a couple of experienced women mostly waiting it out, while I did the work. (They called it labor for a reason.) The only real notable difference was that my midwife would intermittently use a fetal heart monitor -- just every now and then -- to make sure the baby was doing okay.
My obstetrician and his practice had made clear that they were rather uncomfortable with this kind of "old-fashioned" birth. So we left, and engaged a midwife who was committed to being much more modern. And the birth I had was pretty much as I have described. Yes, it hurt, but my doula and midwife had prepared me mentally for that, assuring me that this kind of special pain did not have to result in fear or harm.
We did end up with one technological intervention: because my son had meconium in his fluid (this means he'd defecated in the womb), the midwife explained to me that right after birth, the pediatricians would be scooping him up to suck out his trachea (his windpipe). The idea was to prevent pneumonia. They did this, and three months later over breakfast my husband presented me the results of a randomized control trial that had just come out: it showed that babies in this situation who only had their mouths and not their tracheas cleaned actually had lower rates of pneumonia compared to those who got the tracheal intervention. Another intervention that turned out not to be worth it.
So why is it that, over a decade later, when the evidence still supports a low-interventionist type of pregnancy and birth management for low-risk cases, we've made virtually no inroads to making birth more scientific in the United States.
I put that question to a few scholars who work on this issue. One of them, Libby Bogdan-Lovis of the Center for Ethics and Humanities in the Life Sciences at Michigan State University, happens also to have been my doula. (Lucky me.) Libby noted that a big part of the problem is the way birth is conceived in America -- as "dangerous, risky, and in need of control to ensure a good outcome."
Libby pointed out that institutional strictures contribute to the problem: "Insurance companies generally cover hospital birth, not home birth, they are more inclined to compensate doctors over midwives, they compensate doctors and hospital-based midwives for doing something over doing nothing, and the health care system's risk management approach backs those who can demonstrate that they did everything possible in terms of intervention." All this in spite of the fact that, as Libby notes, "attempts to control birth are fraught with real medicalized risk and commonly lead to cascades of interventions."

vlavetal/Shutterstock
Raymond De Vries, a sociologist in the University of Michigan's Center for Bioethics and Social Science in Medicine, has compared birth in the U.S. to that in the Netherlands, where he is a visiting professor at the University of Maastricht. He finds that, in the U.S., "obstetricians are the experts and the experts have come to see birth as dangerous and frightening." De Vries suggests that the organization of maternity care in this country -- "the limited choices that American women have for bringing their baby into the world, what women are not told about dangers of intervening in birth, and the misuse of science to support the new technologies of birth" -- actually constitutes an ethical problem, although we typically do not recognize it as one. Medical ethicists "would rather look to the [comparatively rare] problems of in vitro fertilization and preimplantation genetic diagnosis than to the every day issues of how we organize birth here in the U.S.; they would rather talk about preserving women's 'choices' than to explore how those choices are bent by culture."
So true. Ethicists love to talk about women's birthing choices as if they are informed and autonomous, but I can't count how many women have said to me that they "chose" pain medication during birth even though they were never told the risks of pain medication, never had anyone express confidence in them that they could birth without medication, and were never offered a doula to walk and talk them through the pain. What kind of "choice" is that? As Libby Bogdan-Lovis told me, "Today's average childbearing woman thinks the notion of an unmedicated birth is the equivalent of suggesting that women should eagerly embrace torture."
If I wanted to maximize safety, I should give birth like my grandmothers would have: with the attention of a couple of experienced women mostly waiting it out, while I did the work.
I think of all the choices I made, the one that shocked my peers most was not getting a prenatal ultrasound. But just a few years before I became pregnant, a major U.S. study -- involving over 15,000 pregnancies -- published in the New England Journal of Medicine showed that routine ultrasounds did not leave babies safer. That work was led by Bernard Ewigman, now chair of family medicine at the University of Chicago and NorthShore University Health System.
I recently called Dr. Ewigman and asked him why so many low-risk pregnancies now involve routine ultrasounds. He suggested that it was partly emotional -- people like to "see" their babies -- and partly due to the unsubstantiated belief that knowing something is necessarily going to lead to better outcomes than not knowing. But, he agreed, routine prenatal sonograms in low-risk pregnancies (that is, pregnancies in which there have been no problems) do not appear to be supported by science, if the outcome you're seeking is reducing illness and death in mothers and children. Routine prenatal sonograms don't seem to be dangerous, but they are also not health-giving.
Dr. Ewigman told me, "The approach you took to your pregnancy was rational and well informed. But most decision-making when it comes to medical issues involving a pregnant woman or baby are not well informed and not based on rational thinking." He added: "We're all very interested in having healthy babies and it is pretty easy to make the kind of cognitive errors that people make, and attribute to technology benefits that don't exist. At the same time, when there are problems in a pregnancy, that very same technology can be life-saving. It is easy to make the [problematic mental] leap that technology is always going to be necessary for a good outcome."
Dr. Ewigman and I talked about how some people derive false certainty from prenatal sonograms, thinking that if the clinicians see nothing unusual, the baby will be born perfectly healthy. I explained to him that that was one reason I didn't bother; I knew from my own research on birth anomalies how often sonograms mislead. He observed that our culture has "a real fascination with technology, and we also have a strong desire to deny death. And the technological aspects of medicine really market well to that kind of culture." Whereas a low-interventionist approach to medical care -- no matter how scientific -- does not.
I'm not against taking into account, when making birthing choices, the kinds of hard-to-measure outcomes that may matter deeply to some pregnant women. I get that there are some women who don't want a baby shower like mine, where most of the gifts consist of yellow and green baby clothes, instead of pink or blue. I get that some want to have those fuzzy pictures of the babies in their wombs. I get that some might want to abort if a sonogram were to show a major anomaly.
And I get that some women want a particular experience of birth -- I mean, I really get that now that I have had a birth that left me feeling more powerful, more humble, more focused, and more devoted to my lover than I ever thought I could feel.
But I wish American women were told the truth about birth -- the truth about their bodies, their abilities, and the dangers of technology. Mostly I wish all pregnant women could hear what Libby Bogdan-Lovis, my doula, told me: "Birthing a baby requires the same relinquishing of control as does sex -- abandoning oneself to the overwhelming sensation and doing so in a protective and supportive environment." If only more women knew how sexy a scientific birth can be.
This article available online at:
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/the-most-scientific-birth-is-often-the-least-technological-birth/254420/

Monday, March 26, 2012

two photos

This first one is for Rachel. (I'm still trying to fit in the "Super Steph" apron you gave me!)
Here was my belly back at 34 weeks - I feel exponentially larger only two weeks later.



Tonight I took our stroller out for a spin around our living room, just to make sure all the components (bassinet, stroller seat, carseat) were all still working correctly. At one point I walked away for a minute, and when I came back I thought I had jammed a wheel or something, because it was suddenly much heavier! Then I realized that I had a freeloader. :)




We're pretty much done with everything on our to-do list at this point, other than packing a hospital bag. I realized that I've been avoiding that partly because I don't have any spare clothes (that still fit) that I can pack away, and partly because packing for the hospital makes it suddenly much more real. I'm determined not to have a March baby, so maybe I'll get around to packing once April rolls around...

I'm still dealing with a nasty case of third trimester fatigue. I'm back to feeling pretty worthless at work, and back to needing about 12 hours of sleep per day. So on that note, I'm off to bed!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

in the future

We're only one month away from Baby's due date, so I thought it would be fun to take stock of this whole pregnancy experience to date...



Things I will miss about being pregnant
1. Being able to wear empire-waist shirts/dresses without worrying that people will think I look pregnant.
2. Being told how great I look all the time.
3. Learning to trust my body.
4. Feeling small. (Counter-intuitive, I know. But since my belly is so big now, it makes the rest of my gangly long limbs seem almost small-ish.)
5. Being encouraged by Mike to eat Oreos and ice cream every night.  :)
6. Not worrying about whether my stomach looks like it's sticking out.
7. Feeling Baby kick.



Things I am looking forward to when longer pregnant
1. Finally getting to meet Baby!!!
2. DIET COKE (without the guilt)
3. Not having heartburn all day long. And at night.
4. Sleeping in the same bed as my husband. (I use so many pillows to prop myself up at night that Mike has been sleeping in the other room for the past 15 weeks or so.)
5. Having more energy (e.g., not getting out of breath when walking 10 feet).
6. Being able to bend at the waist and to reach my toes.
7. Not burping all the time. (It's so gross!)


Anything else I'm missing on either list?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

last chance to place your bet!

Only 34 days to go until April 25. Last chance to place your bet on Baby's arrival! 

April 10 or earlier:   Joanne's guess (eek!)
Wed, April 11:
Thurs, April 12:
Fri, April 13:
Sat, April 14:
Sun, April 15:
Mon, April 16:
Tues, April 17:

Wed, April 18:    Emily's guess (her birthday)
Thurs, April 19:
Fri, April 20:
Sat, April 21:      Steph's guess
Sun, April 22:     Louise's guess and Angie's guess (their birthdays and Earth Day)
Mon, April 23:    Jack's guess (Jack and Marsha's birthday)
Tues, April 24:    Marsha's guess

Wed, April 25:     Steve's guess (Wendy's birthday)
Thurs, April 26:      Mike's guess
Fri, April 27:       Dotty's guess
Sat, April 28:
Sun, April 29:      Ryan's guess
Mon, April 30:    Margaret's guess (my grandma's birthday)
Tues, May 1:

Wed, May 2:     Wendy's guess
Thurs, May 3:
Fri, May 4:
Sat, May 5:       Natalie's guess (her birthday)
Sun, May 6:
Mon, May 7:
Tues, May 8:
induction on Wed, May 9:

the first nine months

Here's a fascinating article about the long-term effects of  in utero experiences. Thanks to my coworker Angie for passing this on!

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2021065-1,00.html


Of course, no woman who is pregnant today can escape hearing the message that what she does affects her fetus. She hears it at doctor's appointments, sees it in the morning newspaper and in the pregnancy guidebooks: Do eat this, don't drink that, always be vigilant — but never stressed. Expectant mothers could be forgiven for feeling that pregnancy is nothing but a nine-month slog, full of guilt and devoid of pleasure, and this research threatened to add to the burden.


But as I began applying what I learned to my own pregnancy, I developed a very different perspective on fetal origins. The scientists I met weren't full of dire warnings but of the excitement of discovery — and the hope that their discoveries would make a positive difference. We're used to hearing about all the things that can go wrong during pregnancy, but as these researchers are finding out, it's frequently the intrauterine environment that makes things go right in later life.


Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2021065,00.html#ixzz1ow0E5nlW

Saturday, March 17, 2012

belated 34 week update

We had our 34-week check-up last Tuesday (technically a day early, but who's counting?), but I got side-tracked at work and forgot to update you all until now! No big news, really - she's still measuring right on target, she's still head-down, and I'm still feeling pretty good overall. My only complaint is that I've been sooooo tired again! It's like the fatigue of the first trimester decided to come back and haunt me. Yuck! Too bad I can't nap during the week, because I'm getting sick of waking up 1-2 times per night to visit the bathroom, and sick of getting winded from doing even the most minimal exertions (like walking up the stairs). Then last night I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep - eventually I just started reading around 6am, then got up with Mike around 8. Yuck! I know this is all just preparation for Baby, but does it really have to start this early?!

In other news, our third niece was born on Wednesday and we got to visit her after work yesterday. She is so cute! It's hard to believe we'll have a little one like that soon. We stopped at Buy Buy Baby to pick up a gift for little niece Annie, and neither Mike nor I could resist picking up a pair of tiny Carhartts for our baby. We're such suckers for cute little baby things, especially when it means that she and Mike can have matching outfits!

Speaking of cute little things, we finalized our cloth diaper stash today. (Thank you to everyone who gave us gift certificates to Peapods!) We should have enough to go full-time cloth as soon as she gets to be about 8 pounds. I'm really excited about this and hope it works as well as I'm envisioning it will!

Our to-do list is rapidly getting whittled away. We're coming down the home stretch!

Monday, March 12, 2012

overspending on baby?

I recently stumbled across this infographic from Frugal Dad. Interesting stuff!

Babies Infographic
Source: frugaldad.com

Sunday, March 11, 2012

childbirth class

Yesterday we had our big all-in-one, seven-hour, childbirth prep class! We met up with about 15 other couples (and 1 single woman whose husband had stayed at home! I felt so bad for her!) at the local, free-standing parenting center. It really stunk that it happened to be the first beautiful spring day of the year and we were stuck in a window-less classroom all day, but overall it was a good experience. Neither of us really learned that much, but that was actually a really good thing (especially for me!) since it was reassuring that we've been preparing well on our own. It also taught us that we're really on the same page as far as what we're hoping, planning, and preparing for with childbirth. And it gave us a chance to try out and talk about some specific relaxation exercises. (Mike now knows that I hate the "raindrop massage" technique, and I learned that I need to give him a non-verbal signal if something isn't relaxing to me.) So, although it wasn't anything early-shattering, it was a good experience overall.

One crazy thing was that we ran into a couple who were also on our hospital tour back in December. Remember how I thought I was by far the least pregnant one on the tour since I was barely showing? Well we learned yesterday that their due date is July 25. (A full three months after ours!) She looked exactly the same size as in December. And I felt incredibly guilt for thinking she was further along than me. Bodies are crazy things!

On a different note, I dragged Mike to Costco with me this morning (despite my earlier vows to never again go to Costco on the weekend - yes, I really needed help carrying the heavy packages!). As we were checking out, the nice cashier man stared at me for a little bit (not in a creepy way), and then said "Are you having a girl." Except he didn't say it as a question, but rather as a statement. Whoa. It made me worry less that the u/s tech might have been wrong.

Finally, I'm starting to think ahead (surprise, surprise) about post-baby classes. Anyone have thoughts about doing a New Mama class at the parenting center vs. doing an ECFE class through our school district? I want to learn more about baby development, but I also really want the opportunity to connect with other parents. I'd love to hear any pros/cons you can think of in either direction.

Hope you're all having a great weekend! I'm going to go out and enjoy the beautiful weather now :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

random updates

1. I like having my toenails painted, but I haven't painted them for the past two years or so. First because I had read that the fumes might possibly interfere with conception, and then because I had read that the fumes might possibly affect early fetal brain development. Not being one to take chances, I went polish-less for quite some time. But last night I finally got the nerve up to paint them again (yay!), even though I can barely reach my feet at this point. It was quite the feat to get the polish on my feet (ha ha) - but I didn't do a terrible job, if I do say so myself! It so nice to have my familiar old polished toes back again.




2. As Mike oh-so-lovingly pointed out to me this evening, I'm now outgrowing maternity clothes. Great. This could be a long 7 (+/-2) more weeks!

(sorry I don't have a photo of my belly sticking out from under my shirt today. You'll just have to take my word for it, since I have now officially retired that shirt from my rotation of clothing. Even one of my clients said to me today, "I think your baby got a lot bigger in the last week."  Sigh.)


3. Speaking of clothes, Baby has waaaaay more cute (tiny!) outfits to wear than I ever thought possible! Last weekend Mike finished washing them all in baby-safe detergent, then I began sorting them in their labeled sizes (newborn, 0-3 mo, 6 mo, etc.) only to discover that sizing is completely inconsistent from brand to brand! Did you know that a 3-mo Carter's is totally different from a 3-mo Old Navy is totally different from a 3-mo Gerber? Ugh! So, needing something pointless to worry about, I immediately latched on to the fear that we'd sort them all by their labels, but then when Baby got big enough to progress to the next size, many of them would be too small and she'd be unable to wear half the cute outfits she's gotten! I thus rapidly turned the clothes-sorting task into an exercise in perfectionism, arranging each item of clothing in order of size. Here's a photo of the project midway through, exhibiting the 15 or so different sizes that we have:



Mike did not think it was nearly as much "fun" as I did, but he very gamely helped me in order to keep the crazy neurotic side of me somewhat in check. Now instead of having neatly labeled baskets of clothing in Baby's closet, we have a hodge-podge of tiny, small, medium, and large sizes. We'll see how this goes...

weeks 33-36: honeydew

Baby;s the size of a honeydew! 

Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month. 

Monday, March 5, 2012

tentative birth plans

Mike and I have been working on our "birth plan" for the past few weeks. We want to try for a "natural" birth if possible, but we also want the security of delivering in a hospital in case any medical emergencies arise. We've both been reading lots of books, with our favorites so far being Hypnobirthing (thanks, Mom!) and Natural Hospital Birth, and I've also been scouring the internet for helpful (not horrifying or sensationalistic!) information.

This blog post a nice seven-point summary of the latter book:

1. Plan it. Absolutely have a dream birth and write it all out if you want to. While so many well-meaning friends, docs, and childbirth educators tell women to “stay open” she says there’s still a place for being very clear about what you want.”To the call for flexibility I say, ‘Let the hospital be flexible!’” Her most important advice: “Make a birth plan, and get attached to it!” She says you don’t have to hand this long document over to everyone you encounter– the headlines will suffice– but for your own process, writing it down can help you.
2. Get a great birth team together. Think about who will be with you to support you in labor. You really want to have a midwife or doctor who supports your wishes. This might mean you need to switch care providers mid-pregnancy (don’t worry, they’ll have plenty of other patients), hiring a labor support doula and taking a childbirth class “Taking charge of creating a positive birth team is a vital step in preparation for a natural birth.”
3. Learn about what happens in labor and what it feels like. Her sections on this topic are outstanding. She describes different kinds of labor but throws in amazingly accurate descriptions of what a woman looks like and acts like (for the partners) and feels like (for the moms who’ve never given birth before).  She writes about particularly challenging moments: the car to the hospital, triage, mid-active labor (at around 5-6 centimeters dilation) and transition.
4. Learn lots of coping strategies. Investigate all the ways you can cope without pain medication and practice a bunch of them with a partner beforehand. Gabriel gives a list of ways to help cope (she is a very big fan of getting in the water– a tub or shower) but also describes in detail how these things play out and help at various stages.
5. Wait an hour. When a medication or a medical procedure is proposed ask, “what if we wait an hour?” How this is answered will give you a lot of information. Sometimes you say, “What if we wait an hour” and the doctor says, “Oh, OK.” Now you know this is not an emergency but a suggestion.
6. Stay home in early labor. And while you’re at it? Ignore it! Ignore it until you can’t ignore it anymore.
7. Eat, cry or move. Often if a woman reaches a plateau in labor and it seems to slow down– often eating (for energy), crying (to release stress) or moving (to enable better positioning for the opening of pelvis/descent of baby and/or reducing pain) will likely help!




This blog post was also helpful for suggestions about incorporating home birth practices into the hospital setting:

1. Stay home in early labor.
In first births this is especially important. There’s no reason to rush off to the hospital at the very first sign of labor. Stay home until you’re in active labor (this starts when contractions are 3-5 minutes apart). And do what home birthers do. Dim the lights, keep random people away, get in the bath, get in the shower, moan, groan, get on all fours, rock back and forth, eat and drink lots of water or Gatorade.
2. Think of hospital procedures and medications as “back up” as opposed to essential.
Birth may be difficult or hard or downright painful but most often it works. We are designed to do this. And in the instances where something isn’t working out we have fantastic medical technology to back us up. Home births work on the assumption that, in low-risk pregnancies, all will be fine and in the case that something does come up, you can transfer to a hospital. You can get into the mind-set that hospital care is a “back up” even if you do know you’ll be going there for the actual birth. This can build your confidence both in normal labor and in medical technology. Both have their place.
3. Learn some other ways to cope with pain than the epidural.
If you’re giving birth at home you can’t get an epidural, so you’re forced to really educate yourself about other options for reliving pain in labor. Even if you know you want to get an epidural in labor, you might benefit from learning these other techniques– massage, changing positions, vocalizing, hypnosis, etc– as you may go through some portion of labor without pain medication for any number of reasons. In general, learning lots ways to cope helps build confidence.
4. Get a midwife.
In the US most babies born at home are delivered by home birth midwives. But midwives deliver in birthing centers and hospitals, too! And they are often covered by insurance. There are lots of myths about midwives circulating, but the fact is certified midwives are trained medical professionals who can prescribe tests, sonograms and medications. The only thing they are not trained to do is surgery. But we have doctors for that.
5. And/or a doula.
A doula provides continuous labor support, something not offered by hospital staff or obstetricians or even (some) midwives. This continuous support has been shown to reduce the chance of medical interventions including c-sections and even shorten the length of labor. Doulas are often used in home births as a primary source of comfort and support.
6. Labor in your tub and/or a hospital shower as much as possible.
Women giving birth at home often rent or buy a birthing tub to help with pain in labor. Being fully immersed in warm water can be as effective for coping with pain in labor as an intramuscular shot of narcotics. Birthing centers and a few hospitals have tubs for laboring, if not there will be a shower which is a good runner up.
7. Read about what normal birth is like.
Pick up one of Ina May Gaskin’s books or another book about how normal birth works, and read it. Gaskin’s enthusiasm for the female body can be infectious. It can give you just the reassurance you need.
8. Avoid people and websites and books and movies that make you feel overly anxious about birth *including movies that make you feel anxious about the hospital.
Reality television shows that feature dramatic medical emergencies and terrified pregnant teens get ratings but are they instructive or inspiring when you’re expecting? Maybe not. I’d also caution against watching documentaries or TV shows or reading birth books that highlight things that can go wrong in the hospital. It’s time to be skeptical, sure. But it’s also time to build confidence and minimize fear.
9. Focus on ways to make the hospital birth a more intimate experience.
Labor hormones tend to flow when mom feels safe and protected. Birth, it turns out, is kind of an intimate experience. So have people with you in labor who believe in you and who believe in birth (partners can read positive birth stories, too). Play gentle, repetitive music on headphones if you want to. Turn down the lights when you get into your labor and delivery room. Bring your own pillows. Go to the bathroom and just sit on the toilet for a while. Talk to your partner in advance about how he or she can support you and help buffer you from all the logistical hoo-hah of checking into the hospital and getting settled.
10. Eat and drink AND MOVE in labor.
Some hospitals still have an outdated policy about not eating and drinking in labor. Some don’t. Most hospital staff won’t care of you have sips of Gatorade or water in labor. They’ll also turn a blind eye to snacking. Home birthers tend to eat and drink through labor to help maintain hydration and much needed energy. And they tend to move around a lot. Just because there’s a bed in the middle of the hospital room doesn’t mean you have to lie down on your back. If you’re not being monitored, get up and move! Or squat. Or lean. Or kneel on the bed. All this helps labor progress and it can take the edge off the pain.


We have our all-in-one birth class this Saturday. (Two weeks after my parents took their grandparenting class. They are so much more prepared than we are!) We'll then have a few weeks to practice breathing/relaxation/visualization exercises, to prep our iPods with good music, to re-read the important parts of the above books, to remind myself that my body knows what to do, to pack our hospital bags, and to finalize our "birth plan."  We're coming down the home stretch!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

finding balance

I've been working very hard during this pregnancy to find balance, particularly between having some knowledge about things in my control that I want to take reasonable precautions on vs. things that are out of my control that I know I need to let go of worrying about. As a result, I've skimmed (not thoroughly read) about a million different books and blogs, hoping to gain some basic knowledge but then to stop myself from freaking out unnecessarily. Basically, I just want to have a sense of where I'd need to go for further information, should the need arise.

But sometimes I make a mistake and read too much. It's like I can't turn my eyes off. This was one of those blog posts that I should have stopped reading after the first paragraph or so. If you dare to read the full text, you might have the same reaction as I did: WTF have I gotten myself into?!?!?

Excuse me while I go try to find my happy place...




Exit Care (by Pregnant Chicken)

A few of you have asked me to put a list together of tips on how to care for the good china after giving birth.
So thanks to your suggestions, and what I found online, here's the glorious list on how to get your tender bits back in order.

Here they are:
• ice wrapped in a washcloth
• use a squirt bottle filled with water to rinse while you pee
• hold a clean pad firmly against the wound and press upward while you poo to help relieve any pressure
• wear boy shorts to hold a cold pad close
• take both ibuprofen and acetaminophen to address any inflamation and pain
• sitz baths - this is when you sit in a little bit of warm water to get more blood flow to the affected area. Plus, it just feels good. You can get inserts that fit into your toilet seat.
• hair dryer set on cool to dry off any areas where you don't want to shake a towel over – this applies to c-sections as well
• condoms filled with water and frozen to a slushy consistency held against the scary sections (it's not like you'll be using them for anything else so it's worth a shot)
• mix calendula oil with the water in your peri bottle to help speed healing
• calendula oil and/or arnica in water, soak a maxi pad in it, then freeze it for a glorious padsicles
• use the Boppy you bought for your baby or nursing, to sit on for the first few days
• Dermoplast spray – sprayed directly on all that ails you, or on a pad then applied
• open one end of a diaper, put ice in it, then put it in the mesh underwear - when the ice melts the diaper absorbs the water so you are not all soggy
• placing Tucks pads or pads soaked in witch hazel (you can place two overlapping for more coverage) on a maxi pad to help soothe the area.
• depends underwear if you don't like the netted underwear and pads the hospital gives you
• frozen maxi pads that were soaked in Witch Hazel then put in a cooler to take to the hospital
• stool softeners and/or prune juice for both c-sections and vaginal births to keep the pushing to a minimum
• vitamin E oil and/ or neosporin on c-section incisions
• wearing a maternity/belly band to give a little support after a c-section
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do you know of any others or are you just backing away from the computer saying, "what the hell have I gotten myself into?!"?
Hey, you may get lucky and not have any use for any of this stuff like my asshole friend, Megan.
Personally, I think it's the anticipation of pain that's the worse part – when else do we have up to 35 weeks to think about how much something may hurt? Seriously, if it was that horrible no one would have more than one child. Even if you do need some of this stuff, it's pretty short lived and you have a new baby to keep your mind off the mess, so don't worry about it too much.
There, there, you'll be shiny and new again before you know it. (hair stroke and shushing) Just like this: