Baby Sizes, week by week (non-fruit version!)

Don't like the fruit comparisons? Here's a man's funny version of the baby sizes. (Thanks to His Boys Can Swim!)

“Tarzan’s Ultimate Guide To Baby Sizes
Week-By-Week For Soon-To-Be Fathers”

 

 
Pregnancy Weeks 3-4
If you look very carefully
into the magnifying glass
you’ll see a very, very tiny dot.


 
Pregnancy Week 5:
“You’re going to shoot your
eye out, kid!”  Your baby is
about the size of a BB now.


 
Pregnancy Week 6:
There’s nothing to worry
about. Your kid won’t be a
nut, it’s just how big he is.


 
Pregnancy Week 7:
Your baby is about the
size of the power button
on your TV remote.



Pregnancy Week 8:
Got some spare change
buddy? Your baby is now
the size of a shiny quarter.


 
Pregnancy Week 9:
Losing your marbles? I
feel for you buddy.  Your
baby is now the size of one.


 
Pregnancy Week 10: 
Think you’re a handyman?
Your baby is about the size
of the head of a hammer.


 
Pregnancy Week 11:
Fore! The next time you swing
your golf club, know your baby
is about the size of a golfball.


 
Pregnancy Week 12: 
Sure you’re 10 inches. Your
baby is the size of a small
measuring tape this week.


 
Pregnancy Week 13: 
Need some gas? Your wife has
some. Your baby is now the
size of the gas cap on your car.


 
Pregnancy Week 14:
Stressed out? I feel you. Now
your baby is the size of a stress
ball. You may need to buy one.


 
Pregnancy Week 15:
You obviously made it to
home, congrats! Your baby
is the size of a baseball.


 
Pregnancy Week 16:
Man, you are a STUD!
Your baby is now the size
of a small stud finder.


 
Pregnancy Week 17: 
Goooooooooooooal!  This
week, your baby is about
the size of a hockey puck.


 
Pregnancy Week 18:
Mr. 5 o’clock shadow, your
baby is now about the size
of a small electric shaver.


 
Pregnancy Week 19: 
Why do they call it a softball?
It huts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.


 
Pregnancy Week 20: 
Mmmm… Memories.  This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.


 
Pregnancy Week 21:
Cheers to the father-to-be!
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle.


 
Pregnancy Week 22-24: 
You went long and deep and
scored! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.


 
Pregnancy Week 25-28: 
13 inch boot? You know what
they say… Your baby is about
this long during these weeks.


 
Pregnancy Week 29-32: 
Your baby is now about 16 inches
long, which is the size of the front
wheel on the original Big Wheel.


 
Pregnancy Week 33-36:
The next time you look into your
17-inch computer screen, know
that your baby is now that long.


 
Pregnancy Week 37 to the big day:
Your baby is the size of the electric motor
in the $110,000 2008 Tesla which can
go from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.  Sweet.

That’s right fellow soon-to-be fathers.  By the time your baby is born he or she is the size of the electric motor in the $110,000 2008 Tesla.  Don’t think you could be driving one of these?  You could have had one… maybe even two.