Surprise!

I'm still in a bit of a state of shock. I was convinced that it was just another month of disappointment on the baby-making front. Convinced. I had already taken two home pregnancy tests (one at 10 days post ovulation, which I know is ridiculously too early and totally pointless, and the other 3 days ago at 12 DPO, which at that point was about 50/50 for accuracy so also fairly pointless) and both were negative. Like usual. Like basically every other time (except twice) that I've taken an HPT in the past 47 or so months since we started "trying." I had all the signs that I was about to get my period, but then I didn't. So I peed on yet another dollar-store stick, just to be sure, while also "knowing" that it was dumb to do so because I was just going to get my period later in the day. So I did it, just to go through the formality. After waiting the requisite wait time, I glanced at the test strip. Yep, just one line (the "control" line), like always. "Wait, is there a little shadow there?" I asked myself, "That's not a second line, is it?"   I scrutinized that thing from all possible angles, frantically trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I've heard people say that "a line is a line, no matter how faint," so I decided to pull out the big gun: the $7 HPT that I'd been saving from the 3-pack of digital tests that I'd bought the very first time I got pregnant in late 2008. The two-minute wait on that thing was agonizing. But the advantage of the $7 version is that there's no question about whether there's a second line or not, becuase it just spits out "pregnant" or "not pregnant" with virtually no risk of a false positive. And there it was. In black and white. Clear as day. Printed in plain English. Pregnant.

I started shaking. Really?!? After sharing the news with Mike, I immediately calmed down and an amazing sense of peace came over me. I thought I'd be even more nervous this time, after two previous losses, but for some reason I really believe that this is finally it. So I'm just going to let that feeling be there and not second guess it. We'll see how long that lasts. ;)  Mike did "make" me meditate for 10 minutes before I left for work, so hopefully that will help me remain calm and keep my perspective.

Wow.