Waiting, waiting, and more waiting

Here I thought the waiting to get pregnant was the worst part. Now I'm remembering that the waiting for the first trimester to pass is just as bad. I'm trying so hard to use all my skills (mindfulness, self-care, relaxation, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, etc.), but I'm still so stressed. I'm getting my bloodwork redone tomorrow (hopefully my HCG will have doubled, which means we have a potentially viable pregnancy and not just a "chemical pregnancy"), but then it will probably be at least another week or so before an early ultrasound can be at all useful.

But what I'm really most nervous about is getting past the 8-week mark. Our first miscarriage was at 7w6d (when I thought I was at 10 weeks) and our second miscarriage was at 8w0d (when I thought I was at 8w2d -- and this was after seeing a heartbeat at about 7wk. Awful!). Seeing good numbers tomorrow would definitely be reassurance (fingers crossed! knock on wood!), but getting past 8 weeks is the bigger and far more important test.

And when is the 8-week mark, you ask? Oh, yes, it's on my birthday.  This could either be the best birthday ever, or the cruelest trick the fates have ever played.