I think that lack of sleep has been the hardest adjustment to parenting for me. I really, really like sleep. And I really, really need some solid sleep in order to function - cognitively, emotionally, and physically. The first six weeks with Rose were such a blur: she woke to eat every three hours and it took her about 45 minutes to eat (or for me to pump), so at most I was getting about two hours of sleep at a time. I remember how marvelous it felt when I got my first three hours of uninterrupted sleep in several weeks. That blur of time certainly taught me why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.
After those first several weeks, things got much better. Rose fairly quickly (at least in retrospect) transitioned to only waking twice (then once) per night, and she made progress in falling asleep more quickly in the evening. But after I got back to work, I realized just how hard it is to be fully functional when not completely rested. I mean, it was one thing for me to be on maternity leave and to be exhausted, but it was a whole different issue to be working as a psychologist while exhausted. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but there are days when I literally keep other people from killing themselves. This is not a job to be done by someone with word-finding problems, a constant desire to doze off, persistent irritability, and the coordination of a flea! (Do fleas have coordination difficulties? I don't even know! But that's how badly my cognitive abilities have been affected recently!)
We seemed to be making amazing progress with Rose's sleep at the beginning of August. There were 3 out of 4 nights at the beginning of the month where Rose slept through the night (7:30pm to 6:00am)!!! It was incredible. Then she started waking for several nights in row, but I figured it was just because she was getting adjusted to a new week of "school." Then she did two more nights in a row at the end of the week and I figured we were back on track... but alas she started waking again. Then she did two more nights...but the last time she slept through the night was somewhere around August 17th or so. Since she's continued to wake once per night for the past two weeks, I'm afraid her streak has definitely been broken.
This is particularly frustrating because it's also been coupled with a regression in her ability to fall asleep at night. When she was a tiny baby it took forever to get her to sleep (as my parents can attest to, after they stayed until 3am one night, repeatedly rocking her to sleep so I could rest). But by July she was usually falling asleep on her first or second try, and maybe her third try at the latest. This was right around the time that she discovered how to suck on her fingers rather than her penguin (and she discovered her magical thumb in particular). In the last two weeks or so, however, she has completely stopped sucking her hand - she now prefers to bring blankets up to her mouth or to kick her legs. But since she doesn't get any blankets in bed and there's nothing to kick in her crib, this is apparently very frustrating for her and keeps her awake. Sigh.
So I reached my limit the other night and Mike and I went back to the drawing board. We reintroduced the pacifier. We added a slightly longer delay before soothing her at night. And I got back to putting her down drowsy but not fully asleep.
Thankfully, things seem to be moving back in the right direction again. She's still waking once (rarely twice) per night, but now she's back to falling asleep in the evening on her first or second try. This is huge because it means I actually get an hour or so to myself at night - I can finish up any chores that need to be done, plus I get about 15 minutes to myself (to read - or blog!) before I collapse from exhaustion. This is such an improvement!
We're going to try to keep these changes up for the next couple weeks, and we'll reevaluate around my birthday. If things are worse, we'll consider adding the "dream feed" that all the experts seem to be touting nowadays (see item 4 of this story). If things are still tolerable (or, dare I even hope to say it, better), then we'll just keep sticking with our previous successes. In the mean time, please keep sending good sleep vibes our way! Rose is a rock-star sleeper compared to a lot of other babies, but since she's slept through the night a couple times I have my hopes up that she can do it again (consistently!) if we just give her the right support!
No comments:
Post a Comment